A Missealing
by Shadlith
Summary: The sealing of a Tailed Beast is no small thing. Modifying a seal to tear one in half first? That's simply begging for trouble. Minato makes a mistake, and the half of the Kyuubi that he had planned on taking into the underworld manages to escape.


_The sealing of a Tailed Beast is no small thing. Modifying a seal to tear one in half first? That's simply begging for trouble. Minato makes a mistake, and the half of the Kyuubi that he had planned on taking into the underworld manages to escape. _

Disclaimed

AN: AU, even beyond the stated point of divergence. Other AU bits will show up later, but are ultimately minor (maybe).

Chapter 1: Finding Yourself

His hair was red. Kurama, the Nine Tailed Beast, the most powerful of the tailed beasts, the Living Apocalypse, wasn't sure how to feel about that. Red was, of course, a great color. It was the color of fire, of destruction, of _power_. But then again, it was also the color of the Sharingan, the Uzumaki's signature hair, and... well, okay, that was all that he could remember. But he was sure he'd killed other things for being red, even if he couldn't remember any right now.

And now he was tiny. Almost helpless, really. Well, as far as the physical went, anyways. Ridiculous. How did those humans survive so long if their young were so weak? But then again, their elders weren't exactly strong either. But still. Incapable of proper movement at a whole year old? Gah. It was a good thing he was immortal, or this would have actually been a problem, instead of just being painfully boring.

And he didn't even want to get started on how ridiculous it was to be bipedal. Who in the sage's name had designed these humans, anyways? They tottered along on unstable legs, left their vitals exposed, and then got surprised when something killed them? And how did they even balance? They didn't have any tails to help them with it, and he was pretty sure that less tails made you more unbalanced. It would explain Shukaku for sure, and would also explain why the humans thought that poking a tailed beast _wasn't_ a stupid idea.

But then again, some of them were actually capable of beating demons, weren't they? Even ones as powerful as him- no, he couldn't think like that. He was pretending to be human now. He had to get into character, and that meant not ripping out the throat of this woman who wouldn't go the hell away so he could figure out how to get this stupid human body working.

"Poor dear," She cood at him. At HIM! As if he hadn't been wandering around, burning this damn town down less than a day ago! He was pretty sure he'd killed the female's family just a few seconds ago. No. No, dammit, this was unacceptable. He had better things to do, and if he let himself get 'raised' in this town, he wouldn't be able to use any of his powers. Bah, a human raising him. What a ridiculous thought. No, he'd just kill the woman and leave. Ugh, but there were all those other humans watching, and if he killed her, he'd have trouble sneaking back in and asking questions. Making this human body had been hard enough, he didn't want to try to modify it and maybe mess things up. Like the eyes. They were all fiddly, and he'd had to take apart a number of those Uchiha to figure out how they worked. Although at least he knew how to make himself immune to their ridiculous sharingan now.

Hm. Although that gave him an idea. The humans kept talking about their precious bloodlines. That Madara person who'd shoved him into this mess in the first place was especially proud of his one. And now that he'd taken it apart, he could see why. Prediction, energy sight, copying, and then that ability to upgrade it and gain a nice assortment of other powers depending on which strain of blood was in it. One of them had the ability to turn intangible, another could summon a warrior spirit to protect him. Useful, both of them, he supposed. Once he made up his bloodline, he'd have to find a way to build them in. But for now, what form should he make this body's bloodline take?

Those dog-pacted would probably serve as the best starting point, he eventually decided. Switching it over to his natural vulpine majesty would be little trouble. Next he'd have to add the eyes, he wanted to be able to copy things. It'd make it so much easier to explain his intelligence, and let him get away with things more- okay, that was it, he was going to _maim_ that damnable woman, and everyone nearby. How _dare_ she try to pick him up? He struck them with his toxic chakra, only settling down when the flesh had melted from their bones. There. Now that the distractions had left... he realized that he'd already managed to screw up his plan. He was supposed to be getting himself taken in, and everyone likely to take him in was now dead. Damn it. Kurama sighed, and decided to give it up for a lost cause.

He'd just turn himself into a rat or something, and leave for now. Go find some other village. Convince some traveling ninja that he was a poor lost child who needed a home and also had a number of bloodline powers that his village could benefit from, and since he wanted to be a ninja oh so very much could he please be taken in? All he'd have to do was make sure that the ninja was from this place. Now what was the name again? Tree village? Something like that he was sure.

Nine Years Later

This was much better than his original plan, Kurama decided, giving the chunin guarding the gates Pitiful Look number 3. Getting adopted wouldn't have worked at all in a ninja village. Someone would have spotted him in seconds. Instead, getting himself raised by civilians in a nearby farm that knew it's location meant that he'd had time to practice making himself seem human. And beyond that, if he decided to use a demonic technique instead of a human one, he could always pass it off as him having been trained by someone else.

And best of all, someone had gone and killed all the Uchiha for him! Even if he knew how to counter their eyes now, it was still a pain, and he hadn't actually tried it anywhere. All he had to do was go find the last three left, that is, the murderer, Madara, and the survivor, and kill them too. Although seeing how considerate the murderer had been, he was tempted to keep that one as a pet. He'd put out his eyes first of course, but pets were always a good thing to have. His mother had told him that before he lit her on fire.

Burning down the village and his adoptive parents before he left had, in his opinion, been the perfect final touch. Now he could enter the village, spin some sob story about how evil raiders had killed everyone and he wanted to become a ninja because of that. Then since they seemed the type to keep watch on his other half, he'd be able to go rescue himself and get on with his mindless destruction... Or whatever other plans he'd had before getting sealed. He couldn't really remember, but he was sure that his other half did.

"You can go in." The gate guard finally decided, waving him through. "Oh, but you'll want to cover your ears. And hide the tail." Kurama was tempted to rip his throat out for the presumption, but figured that if he'd gone _this_ long without killing anyone important, he could go a bit longer.

"Why's that, sir?" He asked innocently.

"The Kyuubi attacked us almost a decade ago." The man explained, looking grim. Or at least Kurama thought it was a grim look. He wasn't that good with human expressions. They didn't have visible ears, or a tail, or anything. "People are still uncomfortable around anything that has to do with foxes."

"Oh." Kurama made his voice sound softer, and slightly shy. "The ninja I learned from told me that Konoha liked bloodlines, so I thought it might be a good idea to show mine. I mean, the other part of it's really dangerous."

"Is it?" The guard looked somewhat interested. "What's it do?" Kurama raised his right hand, focusing a ball of youkai into it.

"My chakra makes things melt." He explained. "My teacher said it was corrosive." He fought the urge to shove the ball of burning youkai into the human's chest. As utterly hilarious as that would be, he wasn't supposed to kill people.

"Well, think of it this way," The guard said, "The only one you need to impress is the Hokage. Everyone else, you should probably _hide_ your abilities from, if you're planning on being a ninja." Kurama nodded, thanking the guard. It was, much as he hated to admit it, probably a good idea. He knew that he could kill anyone who tried to capture him, but no one else did, and they'd be wondering why he was showing off a bloodline without being protected. Especially with all the things those ninja from cloud were doing. Seeing Matatabi had been nice, though. Speaking of tailed beasts and tails... Kurama let his own tail fade back into chakra, but kept the ears. They were mostly hidden by his hair anyways, and the sensory boost from them was more than worth the slight chance of someone getting annoyed at him. He doubted anyone would though, especially since he'd made it to the Hokage's tower without anyone even commenting.

He nodded to the guards as he entered the tower, then quickly requested an appointment, biting down his annoyance with habit. Only a few minutes later, the Hokage was standing before him. "I'm told you wish to join the village?" The man said, sounding politely interested. "And specifically be trained as a ninja?"

Kurama nodded. "Yes."

"You are aware that we usually do not accept students who are older than usual?" The hokage prompted.

"I already have some prior training." Kurama said politely. "I'm sure I can catch up on anything else, such as book knowledge."

"I see." The man said, then nodded. "Very well. We shall test you then, and see if you can be inserted into the program without trouble. Now I believe you claimed to have a bloodline ability? Do you know what it does?"

Kurama hesitated. How much would it benefit him to admit? Ideally he'd be able to get away with saying nothing, but then he might never find the brat who had his other half sealed in him.

"I have unusual chakra." He finally said, "My teacher said it's like a tailed beast's youkai. Also, I have a tail, ears, and claws that I can make appear and disappear whenever I want. Oh, and regeneration. That too. It's because I have a tailed beast as an ancestor."

"What?" The hokage looked white, as if the blood had left his body.

"Are you okay?" Kurama asked cautiously. If the man died, then someone who was properly cautious might take over, and that could be a problem.

"What do you mean a tailed beast in your ancestry?" The man demanded.

"... One used to be a part of the family?" He finally offered, "Pretty early in the family tree."

The man sighed, apparently deciding to put it aside. "I see. Well, we'll do what we can. In the meantime, I'll have someone show you how to access the orphan's funds and setups. Oh, really quickly, I don't suppose you know which tailed beast might be in your ancestry?"

"The Kyuubi." Kurama said immediately. "Although this was before Madara mind controlled it into attacking Konoha." He debated announcing that it was Madara again the second time, but figured that he wouldn't really be able to sell that.

"Hm. I see." The man frowned. "If your family has held this bloodline since then though, why not join up earlier?"

"They were planning on it." Kurama lied blithely, "But then there was the incident with the Kyuubi, and we decided it might not be the best idea, bad associations and all that. But this time, I don't really have anywhere else to do, and I'm sure they won't be as prejudiced." The old man winced, and Kurama had to bite back a triumphant grin. That degree of surety... Kurama's jinchuuriki was probably around here somewhere, and probably being mistreated. So if he went missing, no one would care! This was perfect. Oh, and hey! This would be a good lead in! "Oh, that reminds me! Could I speak with Kyuubi-sama's Jinchuuriki?"

"What makes you believe the kyuubi has a jinchuuriki in the village?" The man demanded. Kurama shot him a dubious look.

"Because Kyuubi-sama was a biiju." He said plainly. What the hell else were the humans going to do with him, after all? Killing him was impossible for mere mortals such as these. The best they could do to any bijuu was seal him away. Even the Death God's seal, had it worked, would have only dragged half of him to the Shingami's stomach, leaving the other half to slowly regenerate. Admittedly, the rest of the seal would have weakened him severely, and when the host died it would have taken him a century or so to reform himself, but still. He would have returned eventually.

"Hm. The existence of our Jinchuuriki is an S-Rank secret." The old man said sternly, "But... I believe it would do him good to have a friend who knows about it and doesn't dislike him for it." The old man gave a thoughtful puff of his pipe. Kurama on the other hand, couldn't believe his ears. He'd literally just walked in, given a couple of not-quite-lies (He'd grown rather fond of the idea of having some hanyo children as servants to help him interact with the rest of the humans, as long as the human parent showed the proper respect of course), and here the Hokage was handing him his goal on a silver platter? This was the best day ever! Well, okay, the best day ever would be when he put himself back together, ate Madara, and burned the entire village to ash, but this was a close second!

The old man eventually seemed to decide that yes, he should in fact allow the descendent of the demon to meet it's prison, and sent him out to the training grounds with instructions to meet a blonde boy who wore lots of orange.

Naruto was punching a log when the demon fox leaned over the wooden fence. "Hello, Uzumaki, was it?"

"Huh?" Naruto glanced at him. "Oh, hi!"

Kurama grinned, showing sharp fangs. "My name is Kurama. It's nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends."

AN: ... Where this came from, I don't know. At all. Whatsoever. It just happened. I might expand on it. I might not. Who knows? I sure don't. Although if anyone wants to adopt this, feel free!

What I imagine happening (since I doubt this will ever become expanded). Kurama at some point figures out the seal can't be broken, and decides that if he can't be whole, he'd rather have a strong host. So he, in his human form, trains Naruto. Probably stuff like demonic taijutsu ("Hit here! Stuff breaks more easily if you hit here."), how to make a chakra cloak out of human chakra ("If they try to hit you, just make a cloak out of chakra. It'll bounce off.") and other demonic abilities that have the entire town panicking.


End file.
